Fostering Future Failure?
- Chrissie Kahan
- Aug 13, 2016
- 3 min read
If you’re like me this week you have not been able to stop watching the Olympics in Rio, especially gymnastics and swimming. I have been captivated by the level of talent, as well as the heartfelt, provoking, personal stories that have been shared. One that specifically caught my attention was that of Simone Biles, 19 year old African American, who has been said to be “The Michael Jordan of Olympics” although this was a statement she shared in her adorable, innocent, child-like way that she was uncomfortable with. But what caught my attention the most and got me thinking was her backstory. Her biological mother was unable to care for her and her siblings due to her drug and alcohol addiction so they were all placed in foster care. That is, until the biological grandparents reached out asking for the children to be sent to them. Once with the grandparents, they were able to have the stability needed in order to grow and thrive in a loving environment. Simone was officially adopted by them in 2003 and most recently credited her “mom” who is really her grandmother in an interview praising her with helping Simone be the amazing young woman and Gold winning, Olympic athlete she is today. Interesting, right? It fascinated me based on my own personal and recent experience of dealing with the broken foster care system. Of course like any mom, even though I was a foster one at that, I felt like the two girls in my care were talented and could thrive being successful at whatever goal(s) they took on. I was willing and able to be their biggest supporter cultivating their talent in a stable environment however it was needed. But with the system pushing reunification for them, their mental state deteriorated. As a result of the system ignoring medical recommendations we were unable to continue on within the process since our goal had been adoption. However, in spite of our recommendations for the girls to return to their biological grandparents who have fought to get them back as they had them for years prior to them being in care, along with the biological parents’ wishes for these girls to be returned to the grandparents’ care, the system has continued to hold them hostage. Instead of being returned to the loving home that they knew or having an outlined timeline of staying with us, they were ripped from our care without being able to say goodbye, thrown into a shelter and tossed into a new, unknown foster home. This would be their third foster home in less than a year. The foster care system didn’t seem to cultivate a mindset of reunification as strongly for Simone Biles and she was able to get the environment she needed to thrive. But consider this: what if Simone had been put through the process like my former foster girls? Would she be an Olympic Champion? Most likely not according to statistics. For more information on the projection of the future (which in my opinion is fostering our kids towards future failure) take a look at the images above along with the listed web link. As always, if you have a story to share, feel free to comment below. We would love to hear from you! You can read more about our harrowing tale of attempting to Foster to Adopt in "Navigating the Road of Infertility", our first book which will be released this Fall.