To the mom of THAT CHILD,

I see you fighting the battle against the world every day on behalf of your child with mental illness. Because there aren't obvious physical symptoms others lack understanding. Others don't know why they can't sit still or why they are impulsive. They don't want their child around yours and ask for their seat or class to be changed. 

I see how tired you are but how you forge on. Even when judging eyes are watching the meltdowns your child has in public assuming it must be your parenting. They don't get how lights can be too bright, or food cooked the wrong way with a certain texture can cause tears. I know how exhausting it is fighting with the school when they tell you that your child should go to bed earlier, and not be on their screen at night. If they only knew the constant struggle of bedtime. The incentives, threats, rewards, doctor recommendations you've tried but still sleep is a constant struggle because your child has ADHD. How the tablet is the only thing that will lull them into sleep sometimes with them watching weird or scary videos because they have PTSD and at least the focus on that is better than their night terrors. How all the sensory lights, canopies and fidgets in the world sometimes will not pull them out of a meltdown because they have Autism. But to the world those are just toys they don't deserve. I understand the battle of food. How you have to cook three dinners each night and even after your constant pleas and attempts at healthy eating, your child will only eat Ramen, spaghetti tacos or chicken nuggets. I can still hear the ringing of other mom's voices who scoffed their noses up at my meal plan. Or the dentist who thought it was realistic that my child would only drink water. I've felt the guilt and shame you feel when the school has no idea how to handle your child's behaviors so you are called to console them out from under the table. Or when the school doesn't believe a behavior is there or worse they blame the behaviors on you. I know the frustration you feel when therapists, psychiatrists and doctors don't take your observations of side effects of medication seriously. So you have to be the one to handle the spectrum of emotions and side effects while comforting your child along with ensuring they take that pill. I know the helplessness you feel when your child's meltdowns take over. When they scream they hate you, they curse, they hit, they destroy things, they punch holes in the wall and they breakdown. When their behavior is so out of their own control you don't know how to help. But you remain calm because you are mom. Or when they finally fall into your arms embracing comfort and apologizing for the actions. The heart wrenching and helpless emotions you experience in those times when all you want to do is make everything ok. I remember the countless hours, research, alternate therapy attempts I sought out in trying to help the child I loved. And the guilt I felt each time an intervention stopped working. So to the mom of that child with a mental illness that the world does not understand, hang in there. Keep fighting, keep advocating, keep educating those that are naive. Never entertain that shame because you are my heroes. Sincerely, A former mom of "that child"